A poem in Vietnamese by Tô Thùy Yên
Translator: Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm
Art: Đinh Trường Chinh

By the earnest call of the sea, the forest

My return in time for spring

–

My return – a shadow on the highway

Cared by whom, the verses on my sleeves, fading…

The layers of endeared pain?

Ten years, even discerning are rocks

–

Farewell to my dead and gone ten-years

In unending autumn quiet, hidden from the holy land

Ten years, a grey reflection on the water

Becoming primates

–

My return across the lagoons, the valleys

Furrows upon my brows teased by the Eastern wind 

I’m dazed, gazing at life in the ancient land

Sensing time in the shifting sand 

–

That’s all. The heaven is silent, the earth dumb

Life quietly nailing shut the blood drained casket

Ten years, witnessed by the world of yore

The barren earth, infertility…

–

My return, a bird’s shadow, late

A rush, a breeze at season’s end

Who’s waiting for these clouds

My hair had the greyness of a thousand year

–

How many wishes are there in a lifetime?

The alluvial landslides…

The easing tumult of history

Ten years, who’s been recording ancient history since?

–

My return head lowered acknowledged by the dew

The weight of heaven and earth in my heart

I’m grateful for the flowers, blooming just for me

Joyous is the world in each moment of solitude

–

Imagine all the open doors, my village

My home, horses rearing already across the river

People walking like school fish in a stream

To the welcoming constant 5 beats of the drums

–

My return like leaves fallen upon the origin

The fire within the hearth tonight, a warm embrace 

A little red wine poured

The trauma of injustice washed away

–

My cries of thanksgiving for the blood pumping through my vein

A heart as soft as the rocks under the pad of my feet

Ten years out at sea in the ancient rain

I’m awake and sad for a place far away

–

My return like dewdrops on the grass

The merging of travelling sad souls

Small but could still be reborn, change, die

Oh humanity, what more could go wrong!

–

The yearning autumn air via the meeting place up the hill

Ten years, humanity showing its real face

Thousands of miles away, boundless clouds, home

Settling for half the cup offered(the unquenchable thirst)

–

My return is like a thread of heavenly silk

Fumbling sadness adrift in the hot sun

Who is calling who at the deserted section of the road?

Right, it’s the awry rocks cry for the vales and mountains?

–

Laden is the vow passed on for generations

Unachievable in such busy lives

Longing for those far beyond my memories

Ten years, I am me 

–

My return like the scattered quatrains

Inside the delusional white sphere of oblivion 

The old house, great it will be to have still a roof, walls

Spiderwebs, smoked stained, termite eaten floors

–

Nothing is where it used to be

Hard are the hospitals, life’s precarious

Fallen gates toothless fences, pavements strewn with grass

The old guests are no more, new guests are far in between…

–

My return upon the dissolution of the sacred talisman

Wake up, oh wood and rocky remnants!

Leave the nightmares

Just this once, leave it all behind

–

This afternoon, I shall dumbly visit

Each and every tree, every corner of the house

Will there be blooming pomelo blossoms, briar roses? 

Ten years, will the trees remember the people of this distant land?

–

My return as the prodigal son

After losing everything

Ten years, son, you’re now older

Imagine your grandparents, the oil lamp and its last drop…

–

Son, looked back at the failures in your life

The hundred promises, keeping not one 

Life passes by, piles upon piles of disillusions and disappointment

Like dewdrops, the changeable silent tears 

–

My return like the echoes of the meadows

Ripples across the flowering embankments  

Yet for a thousand years, you(em) stood tall

Waited for me as the sea would anticipate the streams

–

Me beckoning the closed doors for the moments

The happiness in whose sound eyes

The pure love pumping through my veins

A love lost, a past life

–

I shall return barefoot, between my toes the grit

Looking for you(em)

A private pain in the land of sand and wind…

A banana grove outback staying up all night

–

The pomelo tree of long ago may recall their white blossoms

The night young, oh late moon!

The love of long ago like old age, could not sleep

Each step met, holding on – to the regrets

–

My return shall be in a mystical dream

A childhood staying up late into the night

A blistering soul captivated by a brilliant moon

Life wholly, memories lit up to never fade

–

Baby, gosh the happy memories of old

Live, live accordingly with what should be forgotten

Child, you will be always that small cricket

Chirping in the grass, a dear voice

–

My return is like the spring of a thousand year

Faded shall be the Big Dipper

Who is most dear amongst those who are gone?

Life is emptier than in the old days

–

The dead take us with them into the grave

The night sad, who is left, by the pond

Crying for humanity, for myself till I’m nothing

The age of the crane, the days so much shorter

–

My return, a sulking spectre

Looking for lost time, looking for myself

Feeling sorry for every bit and piece of scrap I picked up

Like a corpse about to lose its title

–

Sit, take in the scent of the old house

Read the old childish verses

In such laments, who took hold of my soul?

The moon missing its time in the street

–

My return with longing on the wings of a golden crane 

In the moments the world so quickly passed by

Upon the limitation of life, the regrets

Never being able to say all I wanted to say

—

Our return

+

Via the earnest call of the sea, the forest

Our return in time for spring

–

Our return – a shadow on the highway

Cared by whom, the verses on one’s sleeves fading…

The layers of endearing pain?

Ten years, even discerning are rocks

–

Farewell to our dead and gone ten-years

In unending autumns quietly hidden from the holy land

Ten years, a grey reflection on the water

Turning into primeval apes

–

Our return across the lagoons, the valleys

On our brows the furrows by the Eastern wind teased

We’re daze gazing upon life on a long ago land

Sensed the drifting sand of time passing by

–

That is all. The heaven is silent, the earth dumb

Life silent nailing shut the blood drained casket

Ten years, witnessed by the world of yore

The barren earth, infertility…

–

Our return like a bird’s shadow, late

Rushing to add a breeze at the season’s end

Who’s waiting for these clouds

Grey for the last thousand years our hair

–

How many wishes are there in a lifetime?

The alluvial landslides…

The easing tumult of history

Ten years, who’s been recording ancient history since?

–

Our return head lowered acknowledge by the dew

The weight of heaven and earth in our heart

Thanks to the flowers because of us they’ve bloomed

Joyous is the world in each moment of solitude

–

Imagine all the houses with their doors open

In our village, the horses rearing have already crossed the river

People walking like a school of fish in a stream

To the cheerful welcoming constant 5 beats of the drums

–

Our return like leaves fallen upon the origin

The fire within the hearth tonight is a warm embrace 

A little red wine poured

Washing away the traumatizing injustice 

–

We cry in thanksgiving for the blood through our vein

A heart soft like the rocks under our feet

Ten years out at sea in the age old rain

We’re awake and sad for a place far away

–

Our return like dewdrops on the grass

The merging of travelling sad souls

Small but could still be reborn, change, die

Oh humanity, what more could go wrong!

–

The yearning autumn air through the meeting place(mid-way up the hill)

Ten years, humanity showing its real face

Thousands of miles away, boundless clouds, home

Settling for half the cup offered(the unquenchable thirst)

–

Our return is like a thread of heavenly silk

The fumbling sadness drifting in the hot sun

Who is calling who at the deserted section of the road?

Right, it’s the awry rocks crying for the mountains & valley?

–

Laden is the vow passed on for generations

Unachievable in such busy lives

Longing for those far beyond our memories

Ten years, we are still us

–

Our return like scattered quatrains

Inside a delusional white sphere of oblivion 

The old house, how great will it be to still have a roof, walls

Spiderwebs, smoked stained, termite eaten floors

–

Nothing is where it used to be

Hospitals are too hard, life, precarious

The fence toothless the gate fallen, the pavement strewn with grass

The old guests are no more, the new guests are few…

–

Our return in the dissolution of the sacred talisman

Wake up, oh woods and rocky pebbles!

Leave the nightmares

Just this once leave it all behind

–

This afternoon, we shall dumbly visit

Each and every tree each corner of the house

Will there be blooming pomelo blossom, briar roses? 

Ten years, will the trees remember the people from such far off land?

–

Our return like the prodigal child

After losing everything

Ten years, son, you’re now so much older

Imagine your grandparents, the oil’s almost gone in the lamp…

–

Son, looked back at all the failures in your life

The hundred promises, keeping not even one 

Life passes by, layer upon layers of disillusions and disappointment

The changing silent tears like dewdrops 

–

Our return like the echoes of the meadows

Ripples across the flowering embankments  

Though for the thousand years, you(em) standing tall

Waiting for me like the sea waits for the streams

–

We call upon the closed doors, the moments

The happiness in whose sound eyes

Pumping through our veins was pure love

A lost love, a past life

–

Our return barefoot, the soil between our toes

Looking for you(em)

A private pain in the land of sand and wind…

The banana grove at the back stayed up all night

–

The pomelo tree of long ago may recall still the white blossoms

The night young, oh late moon!

The love of long ago like old age, can not sleep

Each step touches holding on, the regrets

–

Our return like a mystic dream

A childhood hoping to stay up late into the night

The blistering soul captivating bright moon

For an entire life, memories lit up never fading

–

Baby, gosh the happy memories of old

Live, live accordingly with what should be forgotten

Child, you will still be that small cricket(to me)

Chirping in the grass, a familiar voice

–

Our return in the spring of a thousand year

Fading shall be the Big Dipper

Who is most dear amongst those who are gone?

Life is emptier than in the old days

–

The dead take us with them into the grave

The night sad, who is left, by the pond

Crying for humanity, for ourselves till we are nothing

The age of a crane, the days are shorter

–

Our return like a ghost sulking

Looking for lost time, looking for ourselves

We’re sorry for every piece of scrap we pick up

Like a corpse that’s about to lose its title

–

Sit, the scent of the old house’s unfurling

Read the old childish verses

Upon such laments, who had possessed our soul?

The moon missing the walks through the streets

–

Our return like the golden crane in longing

A time when the world flew by

We’re regretful of the limitation of our life

We couldn’t say all that we wanted to say

—

Ta về

+

Tiếng biển lời rừng nao nức giục

Ta về cho kịp độ xuân sang

–

Ta về – một bóng trên đường lớn

Thơ chẳng ai đề vạt áo phai…

Sao bỗng nghe đau mềm phế phủ?

Mười năm, đá cũng ngậm ngùi thay

–

Vĩnh biệt ta-mười-năm chết dấp

Chốn rừng thiêng im tiếng nghìn thu

Mười năm, mặt xạm soi khe nước

Ta hoá thân thành vượn cổ sơ

–

Ta về qua những truông cùng phá

Nếp trán nhăn đùa ngọn gió may

Ta ngẩn ngơ trông trời đất cũ

Nghe tàn cát bụi tháng năm bay

–

Chỉ có thế. Trời câm đất nín

Đời im lìm đóng váng xanh xao

Mười năm, thế giới già trông thấy

Đất bạc màu đi, đất bạc màu…

–

Ta về như bóng chim qua trễ

Cho vội vàng thêm gió cuối mùa

Ai đứng trông vời mây nước đó

Ngàn năm râu tóc bạc phơ phơ

–

Một đời được mấy điều mong ước?

Núi lở sông bồi đã lắm khi…

Lịch sử ngơi đi nhiều tiếng động

Mười năm, cổ lục đã ai ghi?

–

Ta về cúi mái đầu sương điểm

Nghe nặng từ tâm lượng đất trời

Cảm ơn hoa đã vì ta nở

Thế giới vui từ mỗi lẻ loi

–

Tưởng tượng nhà nhà đang mở cửa

Làng ta, ngựa đá đã qua sông

Người đi như cá theo con nước

Trống ngũ liên nôn nả gióng mừng

–

Ta về như lá rơi về cội

Bếp lửa nhân quần ấm tối nay

Chút rượu hồng đây, xin rưới xuống

Giải oan cho cuộc biển dâu này

–

Ta khóc tạ ơn đời máu chảy

Ruột mềm như đá dưới chân ta

Mười năm chớp bể mưa nguồn đó

Người thức nghe buồn tận cõi xa

–

Ta về như hạt sương trên cỏ

Kết tụ sầu nhân thế chuyển dời

Bé bỏng cũng thì sinh, dị, diệt

Tội tình chi lắm nữa, người ơi!

–

Quán dốc hơi thu lùa nỗi nhớ

Mười năm, người tỏ mặt nhau đây

Nước non ngàn dặm, bèo mây hỡi

Đành uống lưng thôi bát nước mời

–

Ta về như sợi tơ trời trắng

Chấp chới trôi buồn với nắng hanh

Ai gọi ai đi ngoài quãng vắng?

Phải, ôi vàng đá nhắn quan san?

–

Lời thề truyền kiếp còn mang nặng

Nên mắc tình đời cởi chẳng ra

Ta nhớ người xa ngoài nỗi nhớ

Mười năm, ta vẫn cứ là ta

–

Ta về như tứ thơ xiêu tán

Trong cõi hoang đường trắng lãng quên

Nhà cũ, mừng còn nguyên mái, vách

Nhện giăng, khói ám, mối xông nền

–

Mọi thứ không còn ngăn nắp cũ

Nhà thương khó quá, sống thờ ơ

Giậu nghiêng cổng đổ, thềm um cỏ

Khách cũ không còn, khách mới thưa…

–

Ta về khai giải bùa thiêng yểm

Thức dậy đi nào, gỗ đá ơi!

Hãy kể lại mười năm mộng dữ

Một lần kể lại để rồi thôi

–

Chiều nay, ta sẽ đi thơ thẩn

Thăm hỏi từng cây những nỗi nhà

Hoa bưởi, hoa tầm xuân có nở?

Mười năm, cây có nhớ người xa?

–

Ta về như đứa con phung phá

Khánh kiệt đời trong cuộc biển dâu

Mười năm, con đã già như vậy

Huống mẹ cha, đèn sắp cạn dầu…

–

Con gẫm lại đời con thất bát

Hứa trăm điều, một chẳng làm nên

Đời qua, lớp lớp tàn hư huyễn

Hạt lệ sương thầm khóc biến thiên

–

Ta về như tiếng kêu đồng vọng

Rau mác lên bờ đã trổ bông

Cho dẫu ngàn năm, em vẫn đứng

Chờ anh như biển vẫn chờ sông

*

Ta gọi thời gian sau cánh cửa

Nỗi mừng ràn rụa mắt ai sâu

Ta nghe như máu ân tình chảy

Tự kiếp xưa nào tưởng lạc nhau

–

Ta về dẫu phải đi chân đất

Khắp thế gian này để gặp em

Đau khổ riêng gì nơi gió cát…

Hè nhà, bụi chuối thức thâu đêm

–

Cây bưởi xưa còn nhớ trắng hoa

Đêm chưa khuya lắm, hỡi trăng tà!

Tình xưa như tuổi già không ngủ

Bước chạm khua từng nỗi xót xa

–

Ta về như giấc mơ thần bí

Tuổi nhỏ đi tìm những tối vui

Trăng sáng lưu hồn ta vết phỏng

Trọn đời, nỗi nhớ sáng không nguôi

–

Bé ơi, này những vui buồn cũ

Hãy sống, đương đầu với lãng quên

Con dế vẫn là con dế ấy

Hát rong bờ cỏ, giọng thân quen

*

Ta về như nước tào khê chảy

Tinh đẩu mười năm luống nhạt mờ

Thân thích những ai giờ đã khuất?

Cõi đời nghe trống trải hơn xưa

–

Người chết đưa ta cùng xuống mộ

Đêm buồn, ai nữa đứng bờ ao

Khóc người, ta khóc ta rơi rụng

Tuổi hạc, ôi ngày một một hao

–

Ta về như bóng ma hờn tủi

Lục lại thời gian, kiếm chính mình

Ta nhặt mà thương từng phế liệu

Như từng hài cốt sắp vô danh

–

Ngồi đây, nền cũ nhà hương hỏa

Đọc lại bài thơ buổi thiếu thời

Ai đó trong hồn ta thổn thức?

Vầng trăng còn tiếc cuộc rong chơi

–

Ta về như hạc vàng thương nhớ

Một thuở trần gian bay lướt qua

Ta tiếc đời ta sao hữu hạn

Đành không trải hết được lòng ta

—

7-1985

Nguồn: Tô Thuỳ Yên, Thơ tuyển, Minnesota, 1995

---

Tô Thuỳ Yên (1938-2019) real name was Đinh Thành Tiên, born in Go Vap, Gia Dinh, Vietnam, an alumnus at Petrus Ký and Đại học Văn khoa Sài Gòn. He was a teacher and journalist in Saigon, a Major in the Vietnam Army prior to 1975. After 1975 served 13 years in re-education camps, in 1993, he moved with his family to the United States as a former political prisoner.

Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm, the blogger, poet, and translator, was born in 1971 in Phu Nhuan, Saigon, Vietnam. The pharmacist currently lives and works in Western Sydney, Australia.